Land & Sky
by xXx Mizuki xXx
Summary: Sora & Riku are older, but Sora's still as oblivious as ever to his friend Riku's advances... Will the arrival of Sora's new career bring them closer? Or will Riku's deppression finally spiral out of control? Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed!
1. A is for Alone

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Well here's another Kingdom Hearts fic for all you RikuxSora fans out there!

Disclaimer: I _still _don't own Kingdom Hearts!

I've planned this one out so hopefully it'll be great! It's all from Riku's point of view. The song I borrowed from Avenue Q. You'll know it when you see it! It rocks! But yeah - I really hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it (yeah I've already written it but then you know exactly when it will be uploaded and there'll be no great delays!) The days of uploading chapters will normally be Mondays - unless my laptop dies or something.

Anyways - Enjoy!

Miz

xXx

A is for alone

I sat alone in my dark apartment. I could have turned the lights on - but what was the point? There was nothing in there that was particularly worth seeing. Besides... All I ever did was stare out of my window all day... Looking down on the world always gave me a tremendous sense of power. I watched the people as they walked below... A young couple holding hands caught my eye. How I envied them. They walked as if on air, as if they were simply floating along the pavement. I picked up the phone, thinking I might call him. But then put it down again with a sigh. What was the point?... How long had it been now? Let's see... I'm twenty three now and I first knew when I was fifteen... Eight years. Fuck. I've been in love with Sora for eight fucking years. Yet still he only saw me as a friend. Although - It could be worse I suppose. He could have started fucking Kairi by now... Thank God he just saw her as a friend as well...

"Riku?" I looked up as I heard my friend Tidus calling me.

"Yeah?" I called back. He walked through my door with a concerned look on his face.

"Listen buddy nobody's seen you for two weeks? What's up with that?"

"You know that gig I did two weeks ago?"

"The one where they spilled beer over your guitar and stole your microphone?" I flinched at the memory.

"Yes that one... Well after that I decided to quit doing gigs and just stare out of this window for the rest of my life."

"This is about Sora isn't it?"

"No," I lied.

"Look Riku I've known you for 7 years now and I know that this is about Sora and the fact that he still won't fall in love with you. And I'm sorry man but there's nothing I can do about that. But you need to get out of this apartment!"

"No I'm never leaving... I'll just die in here."

"Okay Get off your ass! Everyone's getting ready to go and see Sora at his new job today! Remember? He's the new head chef at that little cafe down the road!"

"Yeah - He gets a bloody degree in cookery and decides to work at that crappy little place!"

"Well don't say that to Sora! He really loves it there!"

"Don't worry about that - I wont be there."

"Riku. When I say everybody's going that includes you!"

"No. I'm staying in."

"There is life outside your apartment Riku! I know it's hard to conceive!"

"No way."

"But there's life outside your apartment! And you're only gonna see it if you leave!"

"No thanks."

"There is cool shit to do but it can't come to you so get off your sorry ass and go take a shower!"

"Fine fine you win already! And stop with the rhyming you sound like you're in a musical or something!" And I slouched off to the bathroom, leaving Tidus with a victorious smirk on his face.

xXx

I shielded my eyes at the unfamiliar glare of the sun. I tried to walk in a straight line, but the heat of the summer's day was making me feel queasy. Tidus walked beside me, offering friendly support as always. I knew exactly where we were going though. That little corner cafe I always took Sora to when he was having trouble with his university studies. It always amazed me how he could do that - university I mean. I dropped out of school at 16... I didn't want to go to college because I couldn't get into the one Sora was going to... I wasn't smart enough. So I just stayed at home all the time... Crying because for the first time in my life, I wouldn't see Sora everyday. But of course, I did see him every day. He made sure of that. He always visited me at home if I was too depressed to go out. He didn't know why I was sad; he'd stopped asking after he realised I was never going to tell him. But he never gave up on me... Even that time when I stayed in bed for a solid week, Sora was the one who cooked me food and made me drink lots until I felt better. And then he let me cry into his arms... If I hadn't been s fucking depressed at the time - that could have been the best moment of my life.

"Riku? It's in here!" Caught up in my thoughts as usual - I had walked straight passed the entrance to the aptly named 'Paopu Palace'... I sighed. It was a bitter reminder that the dream I once had of sharing a paopu with Sora, would never come to pass.

"Hey Riku," Tidus prompted, after I'd been staring at the sign for a good two minutes.

"Come on mate." And he took my arm and guided me into the cafe.

xXx

The first thing I saw, was a very smiley Sora, surrounded by Kairi and Selphie - squealing uncontrollably, as Sora showed them all of the cooking equipment he was allowed to use. Personally, I had never found whisks particularly fascinating... But the sight of Sora in his new chef's outfit was enough to make me squeal uncontrollably any day. Though luckily I managed to restrain myself. I looked around and couldn't help but smile at the room's interior. Tables were strategically placed in front of comfortable looking armchairs and sofas. The walls were adorned with various flower pressings and paintings of calm, countryside scenes.

"Riku!" Sora charged up to me and gave me a rather violent hug. I desperately tried to remain calm, as I felt my leg brush against his crotch.

"Ahem... Hi Sora..."

"Isn't this great? I'm a head chef! Look!" Sora released me and pointed to his chef's hat.

"Very fetching. It suits you!" Sora laughed - but I wasn't joking.

"You're so sweet Riku!" My face turned red at the compliment, while Tidus and Selphie simultaneously burst into hysterics.

"Hey you two! Don't be so mean to my Rikukins!" And Sora gave me a hug of mock-affection. I smiled awkwardly.

"Heh... Careful Sora... People might get the wrong idea..."

"Aw come on Riku! Lighten up! You're too serious!"

"Well... Whatever... The cafe's great by the way."

"Oh thanks Riku! It's cute isn't it?"

"Mmmm... Very cute..." Okay... Maybe I was talking more about Sora than the cafe but oh well...

"We cook lots of stuff too! I could even get your favourite on the menu Riku! You like my cooking don't you?" Again my face turned red as once again laughter erupted around me. Yes Sora's meals were my favourites... But he was a good cook! Plus the way his hips swayed while he chopped carrots was mesmerising... I forced myself away from the enticing memory, as I realised what Sora was saying.

"Besides, I owe you a favour Riku - you know, from the hide and seek thing..."

"What?" Tidus enquired.

"Oh nothing," I assured him, while giving Sora a 'they don't need to know look'.

xXx

After Sora had gone back into the kitchen, Kairi made a startling announcement.

"I work here." Everyone turned to face her.

"Okay..." Tidus began. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say - What the fuck?"

"Very funny book-boy but I know you're really jealous because I have a real job and you don't!"

"Being an author is a real job," Selphie protested.

"No-one asked for your opinion Barbie!"

"Kairi I think you should leave." Tidus' words were final. Kairi had taken it a step too far by insulting his love-interest.

"I'm not going anywhere. I work here remember?"

"How did you get this job anyway?" I asked casually, trying not too seem too jealous that Kairi would now get to see Sora everyday of the week for long periods of time.

"I slept with the cafe manager of course!"

"Ew! You slept with Leon!" I had nothing against Leon personally - I just never realised he was quite _that _desperate...

"Mmhhmmm... He was rather good as well."

"Kairi you're a slut."

"I know." And she strode off towards the kitchen; leaving the rest of us grimacing in disgust - with a new found disrespect for her.

xXx

"Cake's up!" Sora called from the kitchen. Kairi brought it over to us, now dressed in an extremely provocative waitresses outfit.

"Don't you think wearing that will make Sora a little uncomfortable?" I asked her.

"Jealous much?" She mocked. I stood up to challenge her, but just at that moment, Sora came out of the kitchen with cake. Kairi glared at me - as if challenging me to attack her in Sora's presence. Reluctantly I sat down.

"Who wants a piece of my special cake?" Sora placed his creation in the centre of the table. It was a cute little chocolate sponge cake, with the words 'Paopu Palace' drawn on the top with pink icing.

"Do you like it Riku?"

"It's adorable Sora." Sora grinned broadly.

"Then you can have the first piece Riku!"

"Thanks Sora." I went to cut myself a slice, but before I had the chance, Sora had cut off a piece for me and fed it to me. My eyes widened in shock as the chocolate crumbs were wiped from my lips by Sora's fingers. I started choking on my cake as Sora licked the tips of his fingers.

"Alright there Riku?" Tidus asked - fully knowing what had got me so flustered. Damn... Sora could be so sexy without even realising it.

"Yeh I'm fine... Ahem... This Cake's really good Sora! Big thumbs up!"

"I'm glad you like it Riku! I made it especially for all of you! For being so nice as to come visiting me on my first day!" And we all smiled at our adorably cute friend, who was happier than he'd ever been... I only wished it could have been me that could have caused him such happiness.

xXx

So what do we think? Tell me please! I'll give you virtual cookies!


	2. B is for Best Friend

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Thanks for your wonderful reviews! Cookies for everyone! Updates will now be every Monday. And I promise that things will get better for Riku eventually so please keep reading!

Previously: And we all smiled at our adorably cute friend, who was happier than he'd ever been... I only wished it could have been me that could have caused him such happiness.

xXxXxXx

B is for Best Friend

The next day I woke up to blinding sunlight shining through my window. But who had opened my curtains? They were always closed... My hand fell onto something placed on the top of my bedside table.

_To Riku,_

_Get up, get up, and get up!!!!_

_Go and see Sora today!!!!_

_Love and kisses,_

_Tidus_

_x_

I chuckled to myself as I read Tidus' letter. He must have opened my curtains, to make sure I got up... He was cleverer than I gave him credit for...

xXx

After a minute or two of decision making; I decided that I would go and see Sora after all. I slowly got up and found several items of clothing randomly scattered around my room. After I was dressed, I cautiously walked towards my front door. My fingers stroked the handle, and I was in that ever familiar battle with myself... To go or not to go? That was indeed the question. I was just about to turn back and get back into bed when the door opened - knocking me to the floor.

"Aha! So you were going to go out! Ha!"

"Thanks a lot Tidus! That hurt you know!"

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know you were behind the door? I'm not psychic!"

"Whatever. I'm not going anyway."

"Yes you are!" And he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the front door.

"Hey!!! Tidus!!! Quit it!!!"

"No man. This is for your own good." And reluctantly, I let myself be dragged to Sora's cafe.

xXx

Once I was inside the cramped little cafe, I was glad that I'd come. I saw Sora through the kitchen door, stirring something in a big pan. Then I saw Kairi, stroking his arm. Before Tidus could stop me, I'd burst through the kitchen door and slapped Kairi away.

"Riku? What's wrong?" Sora and Kairi both looked at me in shock, as I realised how stupid I'd been.

"Um... Sorry. I just thought Kairi was erm..." I didn't finish my sentence. I just turned and ran out of the kitchen. But not before someone grabbed my arm.

"Riku wait," Sora lowered his voice so that only I could hear.

"Thanks for saving me... Kairi was making me feel a bit uncomfortable."

"Then why didn't you just tell her to fuck off?"

"Riku... I may have gotten used to you using that sort of language but that certainly doesn't mean I am going to go around saying it!" I laughed at Sora's unbelievable sweetness.

"Sora, you're just too cute sometimes I love that about you." I stopped laughing when I realised what I'd said.

"Erm... Would you like some quiche Riku? I can make your favourite if you want?" Stammered Sora, hastily changing the subject.

"Yes please Sora..." And I shuffled off, embarrassed, to find a table.

xXx

Sora came over with the quiche just ten minutes later.

"That was fast Sora!"

"Well I'd prepared most of it yesterday... Tidus said you'd be coming today."

"Oh he did, did he?" I looked around to see if Tidus was still there... But he had left. I took a bite out of the quiche, not bothering with cutlery. I ignored the slightly disgruntled look on Sora's face as the delicious taste of his quiche filled my mouth.

"Mmmm Sora this is really good!"

"Yay! I'm so glad!"

"You know Sora... You're really good at this whole cooking thing. Maybe you should apply for a better job or something?" I tried to be delicate with my choice of wording, but Sora still looked upset at the suggestion.

"You don't like Paopu Palace?"

"Yes Sora! I love it! It's just that I think you could do better than this place..."

"But... You're my best friend Riku, you're supposed to support me..."

"I do support you. Jeeze Sora why d'you have to be so damn sensitive all of the time?"

"Well if that's how you feel..." And Sora stood up, and walked back to the kitchen. Leaving me alone with my quiche.

xXx

I wasn't hungry after that. So I just stood up and left. I didn't have to think where I was going; I knew the route so well. Sora and I always went to the beach when we were kids... We practically lived there. I sat on the pier, admiring the view as tiny silver fishes swam around my feet. I remembered the time Sora and I used to play tag on the sand... And the first time I realized I loved him.

xXx

It was just another normal day on Destiny Islands. Sora and I were particularly bored, so we decided to play hide and seek - something we hadn't done for a rather long time. I knew exactly where Sora would hide - under the pier. That's where he always hid. But when I reached the pier - he wasn't there. A particularly aggressive wave had come up and knocked Sora under the water. I remember when I saw him unconscious below me. I remember when my heart stopped. The only thoughts in my head were:

"I must save him! Save Sora!" So I held my breath and charged into the water, which was slowly sweeping Sora out to sea. My arms were propelling me forwards, my legs kicking faster than a speeding bullet. My heart was racing, but I knew I had to go on... Even then, I knew I would be nothing without Sora.

xXx

As my arms reached out to grab him, another violent wave pulled him away from me. And I was pulled under. I thought I was going to die. But I still had to save Sora - with whatever time I had left. I reached out and pulled him into my grasp. My legs kicked frantically, sending us both to the surface. As I breathed clean air once more, I was amazed I was still alive. I hauled Sora onto my back and swam to the shore, resting his delicate frame onto the sand. I hesitated before giving him mouth-to-mouth. It wasn't as though I didn't want to. For a while I'd been having slightly more intimate feelings for Sora. I'd shrugged them off at first - blaming it all on my hormones going crazy. But that day, when I saw him slipping away from me... I knew I loved him.

xXx

I closed my eyes, and placed my mouth over his, mirroring the exact techniques taught to us in the safety sessions taught to us at school. I tried not to imagine the look of disgust on Sora's face when he realised what I'd had to do in order to save his life. Eventually he opened his eyes, spluttering water onto the sand. My heart rushed with emotion... Relief beyond all imagination. I held him in my arms as he shook; telling him everything would be okay. Just holding him in my arms. That was the best moment of my life. I was his protector. He was my beautiful angel.

xXx

But then she came... And we never played hide and seek again. Kairi only wanted to flirt with Sora or draw stupid pictures on the walls of the secret place that once belonged to Sora and me. She ruined my life...

xXx

Staring out at the ocean, I tried to remember the days I had Sora all to myself... The days we used to sit on the beach together and watch the clouds go by...

"Fuck!" There was no-one else around to here me, as I cursed the horizon. Throwing a pebble into the ocean, I decided to go home. At least there I could cry myself to sleep... Not that it ever helped...

xXx

Poor ickle Riku... Review to make him feel better?


	3. C is for Crying

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Sorry this chapter is a little late - I just got my own laptop and haven't been able to move my files yet.

Note: Song is 'There's a fine, fine line' from Avenue Q. Angsty Chapter - But with some cute bits!

Previously: Throwing a pebble into the ocean, I decided to go home. At least there I could cry myself to sleep... Not that it ever helped...

xXxXxXx

C is for Crying

It only took my half an hour to walk from the beach to my apartment. It was a route I'd taken so often, I could walk it blindfolded... Walking through my apartment door, the smell of freshly cooked food filled my nostrils. I went into the kitchen to investigate. A plate of quiche was quaintly placed upon the table, accompanied by a note.

_To Rikukins,_

_I'm weally, weally sorry!_

_Luv Sora _

_xXx_

I read and re-read the letter, my heart filling with hope. Oh how I loved him... Looking at the quiche, I realised just how hungry I was. I hastily grabbed a spoon from the cutlery draw and rapidly began shoving pastry into my mouth. Mmmm it tasted so good... As the last crumb was licked off of my plate, I decided I would go and see Sora - to thank him. I grabbed my jacket and headed out of the front door.

xXx

Once again I felt the unwelcome sunlight burning my pale skin, as I slowly strolled down the street to Sora's cafe. But as I walked past the window of a flower shop, I noticed something strange. Selphie was in there buying flowers... At least - I thought it was Selphie... I waited for the girl to come out of the shop before confirming her identity. As she exited the store she was still reading the card she had just written and didn't notice me standing right beside her.

"Selph?"

"Aaagghh!!! Oh my God Riku you made me jump!"

"Sorry..."

"It's fine. I didn't drop my flowers or anything..."

"So who are they for?"

"Who are what for?"

"The flowers dumbass!"

"Oh right..." Selphie turned a rather pinkish shade and looked at her shoes.

"Oh come on! Who's the lucky guy?"

"You know that's really none of your business..."

"But we're friends!"

"Are we?"

"What? Selphie... What do you mean 'are we'?"

"Well I never see you anymore Riku! You don't come out with us!"

"I saw you guys on Monday at the paopu palace!"

"Only because Tidus made you come." She was right.

"Well..."

"See you Riku." And she got into her smart car and drove away.

xXx

Alone... That's how I felt, sitting in my apartment. I was always alone though... I always had been... I just... I'd always been a recluse... I enjoyed being alone since I could remember. It was because I didn't belong with other people... I always felt like an outcast. I could never meet people's eyes. I didn't like talking. I didn't like having to put on a brave face when I was miserable. So I pushed everyone away... To prevent myself from any further contact with the world. I hid in myself... To stop myself getting hurt. But at the same time I was scared. Scared that I would be alone for the rest of my life... A shell - living inside myself... I needed someone... Someone who could understand me... But how was that possible... When I never understood myself... Frustrated; I curled up and closed my eyes, and fell into the blissful eternity of sleep.

xXx

"Ouch!" I opened my eyes to see a familiar figure poking my right arm.

"Sora? What are you doing? Ouch! You can stop now you know I'm already awake!"

"Sorry Riku... I guess I just felt bad for getting mad at you when you were only trying to help me... I'm sorry Riku."

"Aw Sora don't be sorry. It was my fault. Thanks for the quiche by the way!"  
"You never let me apologize Riku!"

"That's 'cause you could never do anything wrong." Sora looked away, his face blushing. A moment of awkwardness followed. I broke the silence.

"Erm... So Sora... Don't you have work today?"

"Nope. It's my day off."

"They give the head chef a day off?"

"Well... Technically no... I called in sick."

"Why?"

"Because I was worried about you!" Concern filled Sora's eyes and my heart swelled. He really did care...

xXx

"You... You were worried about me?"

"Well yeah you're my bestest best friend! And you've been kind of down lately... In fact... You've been kind of down since you were fifteen... It was weird... One day you just... Changed." I looked up - instantly knowing which day Sora was referring to. The day I realised I was in love with him.

"At first I thought it was just a faze... But then at the end of high school you got even more depressed... And I never found out why..." I knew that was Sora's way of asking me what was wrong... But I couldn't tell him... I just couldn't... If I told him the truth about how I really felt about him... I could lose him forever.

"Sora... I _can't _tell you! I just can't!"

"But if you never tell me then you can never get over it!" I considered this for a moment... No! I couldn't tell him...

"No. I'm sorry Sora." I nonchalantly lit a cigarette, which Sora promptly took away from me.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"They're bad for you."

"Why should you care?"

"Because you have a perfectly wonderful body that you shouldn't be filling with cigarette badness!"

"Excuse me? Did you just say I had a perfectly wonderful body?"

"Erm... No," Sora stammered while I grinned like the Cheshire cat.

"I said healthy! You have a perfectly healthy body!

"Mmmm yes Sora. Of course."

xXx

"Come on Riku please tell me what's wrong!" I thought about it... If Sora really cared about me... Maybe he wouldn't leave me...

"Sora? Do you remember…? That day at the beach?"

"Yes."

"When I thought you were dead... My heart stopped." I looked at him, unsure of whether or not to go on. He nodded at me.

"Well my heart stopped. And tears ran down my cheeks. Because... Because-"

"HEYLOOOO!!!" My heart sunk as Kairi burst through my front door.

"Hiya Sora! I thought I'd find you here! Come on let's go!"

"Oh erm... I was kind of-"

"Whatever!"

"Get out of my apartment Kairi."

"Oh don't worry. I have no pleasure in being here. Come on Sora!"

"NO! Sora please don't... Please don't leave me!"

"I'm sorry Riku... I'll see you later yeah?"

xXx

"NO!!! FUCKING NO!!!" I screamed into my pillow, pounding my fists against the bed. The combination of Sora leaving, and my argument with Selphie, had sent me into a depressed rage. That was the closest I had ever got to telling him - and that had taken me eight years. I might never get the chance to tell him again. In my frustration, I was transformed into a madman, throwing everything in sight against the wall. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding and I just wanted to... To end everything.

xXx

_There's a fine, fine line  
between a lover and a friend  
_

xXx

I'd never felt this depressed before. After I'd thrown the entire contents of my apartment out of my window, I sat on the edge of my bed. What the fuck was wrong with me? My life was a mess. I was out of work, my friends had deserted me. No. I'd pushed them away... My home was wrecked and I had no money left to replace them. I never felt like doing anything anymore... Just curling up in bed and trying to sleep. I slowly made my way towards the kitchen. I reached out for the only object I had not thrown out of the window. Could I do this? I never thought I would... But maybe. Maybe now I would finally find the strength to end it all...

xXx

_There's a fine, fine line  
between reality and pretend  
And you never know 'til you reach the top  
If it was worth the uphill climb  
_

xXx

Raising the blade, my hand shook in fear. It would not hurt too much... I hadn't felt pain in a very long time. Only the pain of not being with Sora. And after this... That pain would finally be over. By now the option of 'getting over him' was not possible. It was too late for that now. I was too much in love with him... To ever let him go... So I had to let myself go instead. It was the only way...

xXx

_There's a fine, fine line  
Between love and a waste of time_

xXx

As the sharp blade met with my exposed flesh, the pain coursed through my body. But I could take it. Part of me enjoyed the pain. It made it more real - Soon this would all be over. I crawled towards my bedroom; my free hand pulling my body forwards, and my legs pushing me. When I reached my bed, I tried to pull myself up. But I wasn't strong enough. So I turned around and sat down on the floor, propped up against my bed. Everything was echoing and fading. My vision was blurring and I was falling. I heard a distant voice call my name... But it was too late...

xXxXxXx

If you want to find out what happens to Riku - Please take the next 20 seconds to review! Thanks! xXx


	4. D is for Defying Gravity

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Note: Songs are 'Savin' me' by Nickelback and 'Defying Gravity' from Wicked.

This is my first chapter uploaded on my new laptop! This whole story was written on the old one though.

Kairi bashing is fun because I hate her okay! So to the person who said it was too obvious that I hated her - I know it's obvious, I hate the bitch and she _is _a barrier between Riku x Sora. So there will be a lot more Kairi bashing. Sorry!

xXx

Previously: Everything was echoing and fading. My vision was blurring and I was falling. I heard a distant voice call my name... But it was too late...

xXxXxXx

D is for Defying Gravity

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'   
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls   
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin' _

I was falling... Falling through an endless pool of white light. It was beautiful... This could have been heaven. But it had one fatal flaw... I was in intense pain. The wounds to my wrists seemed to have spread through my entire body. I couldn't breathe - the pain filled my lungs. I tried to open my eyes but stopped as a jolt of pain cut through my body. I heard voices... Crying... I needed him... I needed Sora...

xXx

Once again I tried to open my eyes. This time I fought through the pain, and white light burned through my retinas. But it was just the bright white walls of the hospital ward. I looked around. Selphie was crying in Tidus' arms. Tidus was staring at the wall... Lost... And Sora... Oh Sora... What had I done to him? He was shaking uncontrollably - his head in his hands. I saw his tears fall to the floor, where there was an accumulating puddle. I tried to reach for him, but more pain stopped me. I saw the nurse on the other side of the room; her crescent pendant seemed to contain all the colours of the rainbow. She turned around and saw I was awake.

"Oh my! Goodness what a relief!" Her calm voice shattered the dark silence, and Sora's head snapped up to look at me.

"Riku! Riku! Oh my God you're okay! You're okay..." And he ran to my side, tears running down his cheeks uncontrollably. I couldn't help but cry as he clutched my arm and sobbed into my chest. I tentatively stroked his hair and whispered,

"I'm sorry Sora... I never... I never meant to hurt you..."

"Don't ever do this again Riku! Do you hear me? Never!!!" As he spoke, he punched my chest over and over. It hurt like hell but I knew that I definitely deserved it. The nurse began walking over, not sure whether or not to stop Sora from attacking me. With one look from me she decided to leave him to it.

"I'm so sorry Sora... So sorry."

xXx

By the time Sora had finished his outburst; I had become dizzy with sleep, and the nurse suggested that I get some sleep. It took a lot of convincing from her to get Sora to believe that I would wake up again. My eyes closed and once again I was claimed by my dreams.

xXx

I was flying... Defying gravity with Sora by my side...

_Something has changed within me  
Something is not the same  
I'm through with playing by  
The rules of someone else's game_

He held my hand and I was finally at peace. The breeze sped past me like a tornado and my heart raced with adrenaline.

_Too late for second-guessing  
Too late to go back to sleep  
It's time to trust my instincts  
Close my eyes  
And leap... _

I reached out, and pulled Sora too me. He giggled bashfully as I placed a tender kiss upon his lips.

_It's time to try defying gravity  
I think I'll try defying gravity  
And you can't pull me down_

But then the darkness appeared. It chased us into the cave, where I held Sora close to me. But it was too late - he was fading fast. I tried to call out to him, but no sound came out. Tears ran down my cheeks as I desperately tried to reach him. No! Sora... He was gone. Then I heard someone calling my name... But it wasn't Sora. It was a calm voice. I felt my arm being shaken. What the...

xXx

I opened my eyes, and realised I had been dreaming. I looked up and found the owner of the voice calling my name. The nurse had a worried expression on her face.

"Sir? Are you okay? You were screaming!"

"Oh Christ was I? I'm sorry..."

"Just dreaming?"

"Yeah..."

"Well if there's anything you need Sir - just ask."

"Okay, thanks... It's Riku by the way."

"Huh?"

"My name - Riku."

"Oh right! Sorry! I mean... Okay Sir... Dammit! Riku! Okay. Riku... Shit..." And she stumbled away, cursing to herself in embarrassment. I thought about going back to sleep but decided against it. I didn't want to give the nurse another heart attack. I heard Tidus and Selphie's voices in the hallway. I was about to call out to them, when I heard my name. I hastily shut my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"It's just so... I just feel It's my fault," Selphie protested, as she walked through the ward doors.

"Aw don't say that Selph! He's been depressed for years, trust me. You having a go at him-"

"I DIDN'T HAVE A GO AT HIM I JUST TOLD IT LIKE IT IS!!!"

"Okay, okay Selph! Jesus calm down!"

"Fuck off."

"Hey! There's no need for that! I'm just trying to help you!"

"Yeah I know... I'm sorry Tidus..."

"It's okay Selph... We're all pretty emotional right now..." I felt a pang of guilt at Tidus' words... It was my fault everyone felt this way...

"Oh Tidus..." I slyly opened one eye, and saw Selphie dive into Tidus' arms. I couldn't help but feel jealousy course through me. Why did they get to have something? I'd loved Sora for years and hadn't had so much as a cheeky wink from him!

"It's okay Selph. Everything will sort itself out eventually..." My other eye opened in shock as Tidus tentatively kissed Selphie's forehead. Selphie then kissed him back, but on the lips. Before they could progress into a full making-out session, I coughed to alert them that I was awake.

"Oh shit... Sorry Riku. We'll just go outside then..." And they hurried out of the ward to make out. Yippee, I thought sarcastically... I was alone again.

xXx

Just as I was about to give up and go back to sleep, the nurse came around the corner.

"Friends of yours?"

"Yeah. Tidus and Selphie."

"Do you also have a friend called Sora by any chance?"

"Yeah... How the hell do you know that?"  
"You were... Erm... Well you were calling his name when you were dreaming."  
"Oh," I murmured, as I felt my cheeks turn red.

"Don't be embarrassed. It happens to everyone."

"Even you?"

"Especially me." She looked away, as if relaying some sad memory.

"What's your name?"

"Evangeline."

"That's a pretty name.

"Thanks." And she smiled at me.

xXx

"RIIKKUUUU!!!!!!" Evangeline jumped as Sora's sudden scream filled the ward.

"Shit Sora what the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you're still okay of course! I went to get a muffin for you!"

"Aw thanks! Hey Evangeline do you-" But Evangeline had disappeared. Weird...

"Who's Evangeline?"

"My nurse."

"She told you her name?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Cause I needed someone to talk to and she was like - there."

"But Riku! I'm always here to talk to and you know me way better!"

"Yeah I guess... But I can't talk to you about it because-"

"Because what?"

"Never mind."  
"You make me sad Riku. But I'm not gonna leave you in case you do something stupid again..."

"I'm sorry Sora. I never meant to make you feel sad."

"It's okay. I just wished you'd talk to me sometimes."

"Well you never talk to me."

"Yeah I do."

"No you don't."

"Well that's because I don't have any problems."

"Bullshit. Everyone has problems."

"Yeah... Okay then."

xXx

Sora looked anxious as he sat down.

"Okay. You wanna know my problem Riku?"

"Yup."

"Right... Well..."

"Yes."

"I'm in love." I blinked. A lot. Sora was in love? Oh this was bad... So very, very bad...

"Who," I choked, desperately trying to hold back tears.

"I can't tell you."

"Do I know them?"

"Oh I'd say so..." Kairi. It had to be Kairi.

"It's not who you think Riku." Okay then... Maybe it was Selphie?

"Sora... How long have you loved her?"

"I've loved _them _for about... I dunno..." _Them_? As in not necessarily a girl? Did Sora like... Tidus? Oh shit... Yes that was it. He loved Tidus. It all made sense now... Kind of.

"How long?" I prompted again.

"Forever." My heart sank. There was no getting rid of love this deep. Sora was lost forever. I could never have him now.

xXx

Please review?


	5. E is for Evangeline

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Note: Song is 'Savin' me' by Nickelback.

xXx

Previously: My heart sank. There was no getting rid of love this deep. Sora was lost forever. I could never have him now.

xXx

This is an AU fic or whatever – in response to reviewers saying everyone's out of character. Yes I know they are but I'm not changing it now I've already written the whole story! Riku's depressed in this one but I promise I will make another story with a tough Riku okay! And I _like _Kairi bashing!

xXxXxXx

E is for Evangeline

"Look Riku... I've gotta go..."

"Okay." What else could I say?

"I'll see ya later okay?"

"Okay." And he left. Looking thoroughly depressed. Though I couldn't work out why... I was the heartbroken one...

"Everything alright?" Asked Evangeline, who had miraculously appeared after Sora's exit.

"Yeah. That's Sora."

"Ah."

"What do you mean - Ah."

"Well... You love him don't you?"

"What?"

"You love him," She stated again. No judgement in her smile.

"Yeah well... Whatever."

"Don't take it for granted... That you have him."

"But I _don't _have him!"

"He's alive isn't he? He was here with you just a few minutes ago. You have him."

xXx

"Evangeline... What happened to you?" She laughed bitterly.

"Oh nothing short of hell."

"You don't have to tell me."

"I know. But I'm going to. You see... We're the same, you and I. Both desperately wanting something out of reach. Both trying to escape."

"You've tried to kill yourself too?"

"No... I'm not strong enough to do that... But I've tried to run away. It wasn't a cry for help. It was an attempt of escape."

"But why?"

"Five years ago, my boyfriend Mamoru invited me to move in with him. I loved him more than I could possibly say - so I agreed. For the next year we were happy beyond all imagination. We went on holidays together, we had romantic candlelit dinners and strolls in the park at sunset... It was the things of dreams and fantasies. I forgot all about my past..." She paused for a minute or too. Clearly being haunted by the memories.

"But then... One night I came home late. There was a note on the table. He had gone to see his mother who had been rushed to hospital. I decided to go there and support him, so I got into my car and drove to the hospital. But on the way there, I passed wreckage. A car had been in a head-on collision with a petrol tanker." She stifled a sob as tears rolled down her white cheeks.

"When I saw the mangled body of Mamoru being carried away by the ambulance crew..." She never finished her sentence. She broke down in tears and fell onto my bed. I held her hand, stroking it gently; trying to calm her down.

"Evangeline... I'm so sorry."

xXx

"When people say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone... Well I knew what I had... But I lost it... Is it better to have loved and lost... Or is it better to simply have not loved at all..." Listening to Evangeline's sad words, I couldn't help but think... I did have Sora... He was alive...

"I don't know why I told you all of this Riku... I've never told anyone before... But I had to tell someone... I had to let it out... So maybe I can start letting it go..."

_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me _

"Evangeline..."

"It's okay. I'm fine now." An obvious lie.

"Now my problem seems obsolete."

"Ridiculous. Don't compare so much. Your problem is still a problem so go ahead and tell me. I might be able to help."

"Well... Erm..."

"You're in love with Sora."

"Well yes..."

"And he doesn't love you back?"

"Nope."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well then... How long?"

"Eight years."

"Wow."

"Exactly."

xXx

"Hi guys!" We looked up as Tidus came dancing through the ward.

"Hi Tidus... You look happy."

"Why yes I do Riku ol' buddy ol' pal!"

"You had sex didn't you?"

"Hell yes!! HAHAHAHA!!!"

"Tidus."

"Yes Riku."

"Do me a favour will you?"

"Anything Riku."

"Fuck off."

"What?"

"You heard me. Get the hell out of my ward!"

"But... Why?"

"Because I'm depressed and you just got laid."

"Well screw the nurse then she's obviously crazy about you!"

"What!?!"

"She's part time Riku! She only needs to work on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Today is Friday. She's only here 'cause you're here."

"What? Evangeline is this-" But she had disappeared again.

"Go out with her Riku."

"What?"

"Look, you obviously need some action! You're twenty three and you've never even been on a date because you've been in love with your best friend for eight years."

"Hey! You only lost your virginity what - Yesterday?"

"Yeah well I beat _you_ to it!"

"Tidus, I don't wanna hear this right now!"

"Just consider it! Please!"

"Whatever."

"Thank you Riku."

"Now fuck off."

"Fine."

xXx

"Eva you can come back now! He's gone. Why are you so afraid of my friends anyway?" I asked her, as she came tiptoeing back to my bed.

"Oh... I just don't get on with people."

"Oh. I definitely know that feeling... Hey, why are you working on your day off?"

"Keeps me busy. Home's just depressing."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"Say... Eva?"

"Yes."

"Would you... Oh never mind."

"Would I what?"

"No. That's not what I want."

"Okay." She turned away, but before I could realise what I was doing, I gently turned her head back to face me and planted a soft kiss on her delicate lips. I felt her pale cheeks brush against mine; the texture of her shining white hair; and I looked into the deep blues and greens of her eyes. And I saw the pain. She broke away and stood up.

"You shouldn't have done that."

xXx

She had left me. She had got up and left. And now I was alone. She was right of course. I shouldn't have kissed her. That was Tidus' fault for giving me advise when he was hyper. I didn't love Evangeline. I didn't feel anything when I kissed her. I couldn't. For starters I was supposed to be gay... But secondly... Sora. Even though we weren't dating, I felt like I was betraying him. But why? Would it be like this my entire life? Would I never be able to fall in love again? Would I forever be tied down by my devotion to him and only him, while my friends went off and fucked each other, blissfully unaware of my misery?


	6. F is for Fear

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Note: Song is 'Savin' me' by Nickelback.

I have a new room! Well I moved it all around and it's kind of like new… I love it! I've also started writing the chapters that come after what was going to be the end of this story! Make sense? I didn't think so…

Bit of angst – but good at the end of this chapter so keep reading!

xXx

Previously: Would I never be able to fall in love again? Would I forever be tied down by my devotion to him and only him, while my friends went off and fucked each other, blissfully unaware of my misery?

xXxXxXx

F is for Fear

Once again I was alone and depressed. This was getting ridiculous. How long was this going to go one for? There was only one way out. I knew it would hurt. But it was the only option left besides insanity. I slowly detatched the various wires and suction pads providing me with the medication I needed to survive. My wounds were still strong, and I guessed it would only take an hour at most... To die.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'   
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you   
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

The room began to spin and I lost all control. My arms slipped from their previous position upon my stomach and fell to my sides. My head fell off of my pillow and pain overran me. I was drowning. Drowning in pain.

xXx

G is for God

I thought it would only take a few minutes more... But then the angel came. A white creature stood above me, replacing my lifelines. I tried to focus - but the image was hazy. I felt the pain start to go away... But so did the angel. I felt teardrops on my face. But they were not mine... They were not mine...

xXx

H is for Hope

"Riku? Riku mate wake up!" Tidus was standing above me, looking extremely panicky.

"What? What happened?"

"Oh Riku! Thank Christ! I came in earlier to see you and you wouldn't wake up. This new nurse told me you'd tried to kill yourself again!"

"New nurse? But... Where's Evangeline?"

"I dunno... She ain't here though."

"Oh... That's weird..."

"Oh look Sora's coming. I'll see ya later okay." And Tidus walked out of the ward doors as Sora burst through them (carrying cookies and a quiche).

"Riku! Oh Riku! I'm so sorry I wasn't here more to stop you hurting yourself again! But Leon wouldn't give me the time off! Something about subliminal messaging with Burger King... I swear that guy is insane! But anyway... How are you?" I tried to respond to Sora's outburst but I could only laugh. It was a strange thing... Something I hadn't done in a very long time...

"Well as long as your happy Riku," Laughed a slightly confused Sora.

"Are those for me?" I asked, eyeing the tasty snacks Sora had prepared for me.

"Oh yeah! Enjoy!" And I grabbed the cookies and quiche from his grasp, with reflexes faster than a speeding bullet. Oh this was sooo much better than the hospital food!

xXx

"Riku?"

"Yeah," I replied, through mouthful of cookies.

"Have you ever been in love?" I choked on my cookies.

"What?"

"You heard me Riku." There was something in Sora's voice that I couldn't quite make out.

"Well... Yeah of course I've been in love... I'm twenty three already..."

"Who?"

"That's a bit of a personal question don't you think?"

"Well... I am your best friend."

"Yeah I s'pose..."

"So tell me! I can keep a secret!" Sora's cheeky little wink made my heart flutter so much I knew I had to tell him.

xXx

"Okay... But you've got to promise not to leave me."

"Leave you? But Riku, why would I leave you?" I looked down, embarrassed.

"Riku."

"Yeah."

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me." I looked up to smile at him, but when I met his eyes, I almost fell off of my bed. His face was directly in front of mine, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. His angelic lips moving slowly towards mine. How could this be happening? I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact... But it never came... After a few seconds I opened my eyes. Sora was looking rather embarrassed as a nurse stood at the end of my bed, frowning at us.

"This is a hospital. NOT a brothel."

"Excuse me!?!"

"No. It's okay Riku. I'll leave."

"No Sora don't-"

"I'll see you later okay." As Sora left I turned to the nurse.

"Bitch."

xXx

Unfortunately I had to pay for my remark. For the next week I was assigned to cleaning chewing gum off of all the sofas in my ward. I missed Evangeline... I hoped she was okay... She must have run away. But she never got to say goodbye... But then again - She didn't get to say goodbye to her boyfriend either...

"Are you done yet?"

"Almost," I said through gritted teeth.

"Good. You've been down there for ages and I need to check your blood pressure again."

"Yes m'aam." I stood up and walked over to my bed - Then stuck my middle finger up at her when she wasn't looking.

"I saw that."

"What!?!"

xXx

After that bitch of a nurse had run her tests, she finally went home, leaving me alone in my ward. But this time I was happy... Sora had... I couldn't even say it - It was so... Unbelievable... Yet... It had happened. Well - nearly at least. Christ I hated that nurse...


	7. I is for Incendie

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Previously: After that bitch of a nurse had run her tests, she finally went home, leaving me alone in my ward. But this time I was happy... Sora had... I couldn't even say it - It was so... Unbelievable... Yet... It had happened. Well - nearly at least. Christ I hated that nurse...

xXxXxXx

I is for Incendie

Sora came to visit me every single day before and after work. It made me happy, but at the same time, I worried that he was wearing himself out.

"You need a break Sora."

"Nah I'm... I'm fine," He yawned unconvincingly.

"Seriously - Go home!"

"No really. I'm okay."

"Look Sora, I don't wanting you getting too tired."

"I'm wide awake Riku, really! Look," And he opened his eyes as wide as he could, before closing them and falling asleep on the end of my bed.

"Yeh... You're not tired at all Sora," I said sarcastically.

xXx

Sora was still asleep two hours later. I thought I should wake him up - but he looked so beautiful. He was curled up in a ball at the end of my bed, his lips parted slightly. His facial expression conveying absolute peace. I just wanted to wrap myself around him and cuddle him for eternity... Since the near-kissing incident, Sora hadn't mentioned it. This, naturally, was annoying me to say the least. To say it was completely and utterly pissing me off would be a drastic understatement. But I couldn't ruin the friendship that we had. So I wouldn't say anything.

"Aaahhh..." Sora yawned as he awoke from his slumber.

"Morning sunshine."

"Is it morning?"

"No, it's about midnight. So it's kind of morning... Just very, very early in the morning."

"Riku... I'm sleepy..."

"Still? You've been asleep for two hours!"

"I know... But I'm cold!"

"Well pull the blanket over you then."

"I have, I'm still cold though."

"Well I dunno... Go find a hot water bottle or something."

"Riku?" Sora looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.

"What?"

"Can I...?"

"Can you what?" My question was answered as Sora crawled up next to me and slid under the covers.

"I'm still cold Riku..."

"Well move closer then." Sora shuffled up to me obediently.

"Better?" I asked. Sora nodded, before resting his head on my chest and going back to sleep. It took all of my will power not to cry with happiness. Sora was lying beside me... I could feel the beating of his heart, and the breath from his lips... My love... And me.

xXx

As I watched him sleep, I felt my heart skip a beat with every breath he took. He looked like an angel... So peaceful and serene. I traced his lips with my finger, but gently so he wouldn't wake up and run away. I couldn't even think about sleeping. This may well have been the only moment like this I would ever have with Sora. There was no way in hell I was going to miss it for something as trivial as sleep.

_Two Hearts, beating as one._

_Come to me love, you set my heart undone._

He shuffled in his sleep, and wrapped his arms around me. I tried not to tremble as his hand came to rest just north of my crotch.

"Riku..." I blinked. Had Sora just moaned my name in his sleep?

"Riku... Oh yeah... Right there Riku..." I blinked multiple times, realising exactly what Sora was dreaming about. He started to subconsciously grind against me and I desperately fought back an erection. I spent the next few minutes deciding whether or not to wake him up. On the one hand, I could wait for it to pass and save Sora from eternal embarrassment. Or I could let him know what he was doing before things got out of hand. My rational train of thought knew that waking him up was probably the better option... But my 'I've been in love with this guy for eight years and now he's grinding against my leg' train of thought convinced me otherwise.

"Rrrri-i-i-ku!!!" After a while, Sora finally finished, and curled up against my leg. I tried to shift my position, so that he wouldn't notice the wet stain on my trousers when he woke up.

xXx

"Aaaggghhhh..." Sora yawned, blissfully unaware of what he had gotten up to in his subconscious mind just hours previously.

"Good morning. And how did you sleep?"

"Mmmm... That was the best night's sleep I've had in ages!"

"Yes I bet it was," I muttered under my breath, smirking to myself.

"What was that?"

"I'm glad to hear that you got such a good night's sleep Sora."

"I've gotta go to work now but I'll see you later okay?"

"Yeah. They said I could go home today anyway."

"Oh yeah that's right! Well I'll see you in your apartment later 'kay!"

"Okay Sora, see you later!" And he gave me another cheeky wink before leaving the ward.

xXx

Walking back to my apartment seemed to take me forever. Granted it was only about seven buildings away, I hadn't walked in about a month. They really should have sent someone with me, but that bitch of a nurse wanted me to suffer. Half an hour later, I finally stumbled through my door; only to fall down when Tidus and Selphie jumped out in unison cheering "surprise!" After helping me to my feet, they allowed me a few moments to fully register the decorations they had put up in my grotty apartment. There were several pink ribbons hung on various objects - I figured either these were from Selphie or there was something Tidus wasn't telling me. I then noticed the huge home-made banner which depicted Sora and I dancing around a paopu tree next to the words 'Welcome home Riku-kins'. I smiled as I recognised Sora's handwriting and his new apparent nickname for me.

"I made the paopu tree sculpture. It's edible!"

"Ah!" I exclaimed, as I finally realised what the brown blob-like tower was.

"Wow Tidus... It's amazing!" Tidus beamed at the compliment.

"So erm... Where's Sora?"

"To be honest - I don't know. He should have been here over an hour ago..." And right on cue, a hysterical Sora burst through my front door.

xXx

Sora flung himself onto my sofa, in a fit of tears.

"Fuck Sora what the hell is wrong?" I asked, as I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. Sora said nothing, but flung his arms around me and pressed his body as close to mine as possible. Tidus did a 'get in there mate' motion before going into the kitchen with Selphie.

"Sora?... What happened?" He sniffled in response.

"You know, it gets better when you tell someone..." I rubbed his back gently and held him tighter. He buried his head further into my shirt.

"Cafe..."

"What happened at the cafe Sora?"

"Fire..."

"Fire! Shit are you okay?"

"Yeah... I got out okay... But I have no job..."

"Leon fired you?"

"Yeah... He said I'd dashed his dreams of creating a grand fast food empire."

"Sora... You worked in a cafe. Not a fast food restaurant."

"Yeah..."

"It's okay Sora. I'm here for you and we'll find you a new job okay?"

"Thank you Riku." And he gave me a quick kiss on the lips, before snuggling close to me once more.

xXx

J is for Jealousy

Eventually Sora decided to take a shower, and Tidus and Selphie had gone back to Tidus' place. I'd normally feel depressed, knowing that right now my two friends were probably having rampant and enjoyable sex... But I didn't. Sora had kissed me... Again! That had to mean something! Didn't it? While I was pondering, Kairi slyly slipped through my front door.

"Hiya fagface."

"Hey Bitch what the hell are you doing here?"

"Reclaiming what's mine."

"Oh really."

"Yeah."

"Has Sora ever kissed you?" I asked coolly.

"Has he ever kissed you?" She asked - equally cool.

"Yep."

"What?" Kairi stumbled backwards in astonishment; her cool exterior shattered.

"Twice."

"Liar."

"No," I sniggered. The situation was just too enjoyable for words.

"Fuck you."

"No he hasn't fucked me yet - But all in good time." I laughed at Kairi's angered expression.

"He doesn't love you," she screamed wildly. "He can never love you like he loves me!"

"And why is that?"

"Because he's already fucked me."

"You're a fucking liar Kairi."

"No I'm not." My confidence wavered at her expression of victory.

"Why not?"

"Do you remember that party? At Tidus' house. Sora and I disappeared for a while."

"Kairi you're lying."

"Well we were doing it." She smirked at my hurt expression.

"Our hot writhing bodies were-"

"SHUT UP!!!" I clenched my fists in anger, then gasped, as Kairi swiftly produced a silver pistol from her bright pink handbag.

"Kairi... How the fuck did you get that?"

"Leon gave it to me," she said flatly - as if acquiring a gun from a man she hardly knew was an everyday occurrence.

"So what exactly do you want me to do with it?"

"I think you already know that Riku. You don't want to live knowing that Sora fucked me long before he even thought about kissing you," she sneered.

"So you really want Sora that badly? You'd even have me kill myself so that I'm no longer a threat to you." Kairi only smiled in response, waiting for my inevitable elimination. She knew how suicidal I was and she knew that I couldn't live knowing what they had done.

"Fine," and I smiled back at her.

"Have it your way bitch!" And I took the gun from her bony fingers and fired.


	8. K is for Kindness

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

Previously: "Have it your way bitch!" And I took the gun from her bony fingers and fired.

xXxXxXx

K is for Kindness

"YOU BASTARD!" Kairi screamed, clutching her arm in pain.

"You absolute fucking bastard!!!"

"Relax Kairi it's just a ricochet! Like I'd really murder someone." I smiled at her, victorious.

"Although," I added. "Lie about Sora to me again - And I _will _kill you." The look on Kairi's face was proof enough that my words were effective, and she ran out of my apartment in fear.

"Riku! What the hell's going on?" Sora ran out of the bathroom, clutching his towel.

"Ah nothing major," I replied, desperately trying not to notice where Sora's towel failed to completely cover.

"Are you sure? You're bleeding." It was only a splatter from Kairi's wound, but Sora didn't need to know that.

"Oh am I... Where?"

"Here." And he licked the blood from a point just next to my lips. That was when I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. Sora's towel slipping and his tongue on my cheek had made my vision so hazy I was completely unaware of what I did next. Until it was happening of course. I had pulled Sora up against me and pressed my lips firmly against his. My fingers running through his chestnut hair, my other hand holding his back so that he was as close to me as possible. I was about to pull away and apologize; when I felt him kiss me back. My heart fluttered and my stomach did somersaults as I felt Sora's lips moving against mine. I gently slipped my tongue into the hot cavern of his mouth, and he melted against me. I was about to take things even further when-

"RING... RING..." I was beyond angry at that point. I would not want to be whoever was calling me right now.

"Yes, who the fuck is it?" I paused as I heard the reply. I slapped my hand to my forehead in embarrassment.

"Oh hello mum!" I replied cheerfully, trying to redeem myself.

Yes... Yes I was busy but it's not... Yes I know that sort of language isn't tolerated but... Yes mum... I know... Yes I know mum... WHAT?...Wow…..Thanks….Yeah I know……Yes…….Yes Mother….. Yes okay I get it!!!!... Goodbye mum!" After slamming the phone down, I looked around the room for Sora... But he was gone.

"Oh brilliant," I sighed. And just when things were getting interesting...

xXx

I started dialling the number for Sora's mobile, but stopped when he came out from behind my door.

"Sora? What were you doing hiding behind there?"

"I dunno..."

"Are you okay?"

"Riku we need to talk."

"Okay." We sat down next to each other on my sofa and I gazed into his eyes.

"Riku... You obviously like me... _Like that..._ And erm... Before things get even further... I need you to know that... I'm not ready."

"For sex? Cause we don't have to do that yet you know and-"

"For anything."

"Anything?"

"Look Riku. Up until just now, I hadn't had any sort of sexual interaction with anybody. And if we're gonna be doing this more often then... Well I'll need some time adjusting."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry Riku. But if I'm ready then-"

_"If you're ready? _As in... You might - _never _- be ready?"

"I'm sorry Riku."

"Don't leave me Sora." And he looked me in the eyes.

"I'm not going to leave you. But I'm not going to love you either." At his harsh words, I felt a solitary tear trickle down my cheek.

"I'm sorry Riku." And he went into the kitchen, to leave me alone with my thoughts...

xXx

_Won't someone please tell me, the cure for all this apathy?_

_This constant confusion and pain?_

_To get past the shadows, you'll need much more imagination,_

_Tell me where does the light lead?_

xXx

After a very awkward dinner (home-cooked by Sora though!), Sora started searching the web for job advertisements. After two hours, he gave up.

"There's nothing!!! Absolutely fucking nothing!!!" I knew Sora must have been extremely angry to use such strong language, so I sat down next to him and searched myself. After half an hour I gave up too. There really was nothing.

"Well Sora... There is something you could do?"

"What?"

"Open up your own restaurant."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"But that's... Impossible!"

"Why?"

"Because... I have no money."

"I have money."

"How much?" I whispered the amount in his ear and his eyes lit up.

"Jesus Christ Riku! How did you get so much?"  
"You know my Mum called earlier – she won the lottery."

"Ha! Brilliant! And she's still gonna give you the money even though you swore at her! Okay - I'll need some help buying a place and decorating..."

"I can help you."

"Really?"

"Sora. You now know that I'm in love with you." Sora blushed in reply.

"Therefore, assume that anything you ever want - I will give to you." He blushed more.

"Thanks Riku."

xXx

After just a month, Sora had purchased a place ready to transform into his restaurant. I'd bought paint and brushes from the store, as well as laminate flooring. After we'd gotten started, we knew exactly what needed to be done. But there was still a long way to go.

"Oh my God Riku!!!"

"What?"

"I have spent (Sora counts on his watch) two and a half hours painting this one spot!"

"Well I'll do the painting then."

"But I can't do the flooring! I'm too weak. You have muscles and stuff." I laughed at Sora's constant naivety.

"Okay then what _do _you want to do?"

"Hmm... I dunno." Yes you do, I can see it on your face.

"Well..." Sora was cut off, as Tidus and Selphie came skipping through the doors.

"Hiya you two! Guess who just got his first book published?" Sora and I shrugged in unison, staring at Selphie - waiting for her to give us the answer.

"Tidus did you dolts!"

"Oh right! Yey!!! Go Tidus!" Sora did a little happy-clappy dance.

"Yeah it's great isn't it? But I got fired from the library where I worked..." Selphie looked at the floor and shuffled a bit.  
"Why?"

"Because I attacked my boss when they wouldn't stock Tidus' book. Something about the fact I was sleeping with the author..."

"Aw Tidus! Selphie got fired for you and your book!"

"Yeah I know... But it makes me love her all the more." And he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  
"Not in my restaurant!" I cried. But then I received a sharp poke in the ribs, reminding me that it was in fact - Sora's restaurant.

"You can work here Selphie! As a waitress!" We all turned to look at Sora.

"Really? That would be really sweet of you Sora!"

"No problem! But you have to help us decorate!"

xXx

With the four of us working, we had done the whole northern wall in just under seven hours. We had even managed to get into a paintball fight halfway through - resulting in a very red Sora running to the bathroom after a particularly large paintball hit him in the ear.

"Well... As fun as this is," Tidus stated sarcastically.

"We've gotta go. See ya Riku. And sorry about that paintball to the ear thing Sora."

"It's okay Tidus," Sora chirped. But as soon as they'd gone, he launched into a speech about health and safety. After he'd calmed down, we decided to have a break for dinner, and Sora cooked us one of his delicious quiches.

"Christ Sora! This tastes so damn good! Did you get a new ingredient?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"It's my secret ingredient - And that means it's a secret!"

"What? So I can't even know what I'm eating?"

"Nope," he laughed.

"It's a good thing I love you enough to trust you then." Sora froze, knowing how important my trust was. He knew I never trusted anyone...

"You must really love me Riku... To trust me."

"Yes. I do."

"Riku... There's something I need to tell you..."


	9. L is for Love

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

xXx LEMON WARNING xXx

I wrote this in the summer holidays okay so… I dunno…

Song from Avenue Q - Fantasies come true (I love that song! - Along with Defying Gravity) I think my entire story can be acted out along to Avenue Q / Wicked!

xXx

Previously: "Riku... There's something I need to tell you..."

xXxXxXx

L is for Love (And that yellow citrussy fruit (no not a paopu)

"What is it Sora?" Sora squirmed in his chair, blushing profusely.

"Well you know that day in the hospital... When I said I loved someone..."

"Yeah..." My heart sank. Sora was finally going to tell me that he was in love with someone else.

"You really don't get it do you Riku?" (Geeze - Talk about a role-reversal!)

"Get what?"

"I'm in love with you Riku."

"..."

"Riku? Are you okay? You look like you're gonna pass out or something..."

"Mnnnnnmmmoooossssseeeeee..."

"Moose?"

"No..."

"Then what are you trying to say Riku?" Realising that I couldn't string two words together, I instead decided to express my feelings with actions. I flung the table to the floor and met Sora's lips with mine. We shared a passionate kiss, our tongues both fighting for dominance. Sora realised that this was one battle he was never going to win, and parted his lips further to allow me greatest access to his mouth.

xXx

We collapsed onto the heap of cushions we had used just hours ago for hiding behind during the paintball fight. Sora was shivering with anticipation, and I could feel his arousal pressing against my leg.

"R-r-riku... I've dreamed about this for so long..."

"I know."

"Huh? How do you know that Riku?"

"That time you slept next to me in the hospital. You did some pretty sexy things in your sleep."

"Aw crap... That's embarrassing..."

"Don't worry 'bout it - Trust me I enjoyed it."

"Yes... I bet you did."

"But why the other day... Why did you say you weren't ready?"

"Because I wasn't sure if you really loved me... I didn't know if that was what you really wanted... So I didn't want to be with you if it meant my heart would get broken. I love you too much."

"You love me too much? Oh Sora why the fuck didn't you mention this before? I've been in love with you for eight years!"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Woah... Sorry Riku..." Sora's eyes widened as realisation hit him.

"_That's _why you've been depressed for eight years!"

"Yeah."

"Aw Riku! You should have told me!"

"Well I'm telling you now. I love you Sora."

xXx

M is for Moonlight (And 'Mature' Rating so you know what that means…)

I brushed back the hair from his face and looked deep into his eyes. I was instantly lost in the deep blue pools of moonlight.

"Do you wanna fuck me Riku?" He whispered seductively.

_"Oh dear God..."_

Sora shuffled upwards and gave me a firm yet gentle kiss. Once again he allowed my tongue to explore his delicious mouth, but this time I took it a step further... Sora moved his legs to give me access to his zipper. I looked into his eyes for confirmation - and found it. There was no nervousness or regret in those shining blue orbs I had gazed into for so long. I loved Sora so much... So now I would give him something back. I licked all the way down Sora's chest, until I reached the denim fabric of his jeans. With one quick motion I slipped them off of him and began slowly licking up and down his inner thighs.

"Oh p-p-please Riku... Lick me..."

"Lick you?" I moved up and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips, before licking all the way down his chest.

"No Riku... Lick me... _There._" I smiled and moved my head back to its original position.

"I dunno Sora... You're a lot... _Bigger_ than I'd expected," I joked, enjoying Sora's pleading moans.

"Oh come _on _Riku! You can't make me wait any longer!"

"Okay Sora. You win." And he screamed in ecstasy as my mouth surrounded his hardened cock.

"Fuck Riku!" I had to hold Sora's hips down to stop him from bucking them forward. There was only so much I could take in after all.

"S-s-sorry Riku... So...Good..." Sora's moans were propelling me forwards. I was determined to give Sora the maximum amount of pleasure that was possible. I used my free hand to grip the base of his cock, and pump it in rhythm with my mouth. While my tongue worked on his shaft, I used my other hand to play with his balls, earning yet more pleasured moans from my friend's lips. Although it was at this point I realised, we had now gone a little beyond the 'friend' title.

"R-r-riku... I'm gonna..." My mouth moved faster and my hand pumped harder, sensing Sora's climax was fast approaching.

"Riku!!!" Sora's head fell back as his seed spilled into my mouth. I raised my head and licked my lips.

"What does it taste like Riku?" Sora breathed, still shivering in pleasure. I thought of a word to describe it - but found none. So instead I opened my mouth on his and allowed him to lick the cum from around the edges. Sora scrunched up his face in disgust.

"That's skank. I'm sorry I made you drink that..."

"Well don't be sorry - I think it's delicious!"

"Liar," he whispered in my ear.

"Me? Never."

xXx

I pulled off Sora's shirt and kissed along his collarbone. I shuddered as Sora surrounded my hot cock with his hand. My eyes fluttered and my whole body shivered as Sora pleased me. My heart sang as he whispered,

"Riku... I love you."

_All those years I missed the signs, _

_Couldn't read between the lines. _

_Who'd have thought I would see the day _

_Where I'd hear you say What I heard you say _

_And now I find _

_What was always in my mind _

_Was in your mind too _

_Who knew? _

_Fantasies come true _

"I love you too Sora," I answered. Shortly before letting out a final moan as white seed spilled all over the sheets.

"Christ Sora... That was amazing."

"I know. And we're not done yet!" I almost growled as he winked at me. Christ I never knew Sora was so horny! I simply stared in wonder as Sora positioned his beautiful tanned body beneath mine.

"Erm Sora? You know this is gonna hurt like hell right?"

"Yeah... But it can't be that bad right?"

"Erm..."

"Come on Riku... Please... I _need _you inside of me..."

"Well... When you put it like that..." I reached over to my coat pocket and pulled out a small tube.

"Someone's prepared," Sora commented.

"Trust me Sora - You'll want this stuff." I opened the cap and squirted a generous amount onto my index finger. I kissed Sora's entrance before slowly inserting my finger. Sora flinched a bit, unaccustomed to the new sensation.

"Just fuck me Riku for God's sake!" How could I resist a demand like that? I positioned myself at his entrance when,

"Wait a second. Let me turn over. I want to see your eyes Riku." I let him alter his position and smiled as his hands fastened around my neck.

"Okay. Fuck me Riku." His voice was so deep and seductive that it was difficult not to slam into him as hard as I could. But somehow I managed to enter him gently. I saw tears form in his eyes and guilt filled my heart.

"I'm sorry Sora..."

"No... Don't be... It'll pass." And after a while, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Move." I slowly started moving inside of him. The feeling was unbelievable. Like floating on air. As his legs wrapped around my waist, I started stroking his hair. Our synchronised moans filled the room and I knew, that I never wanted this feeling to end.

_And now I see _

_That what I'd always dreamed of _

_Was meant to be _

_You and me _

_Me and you _

_Fantasies come true_

Taking a deep breath, I thrusted harder and harder into him.

"Riku..."

"Louder," I hissed, wrapping one arm around his shoulder for better leverage.

"RIKU!!!" Sora shook as he came, spilling his seed all over my chest. His moans and the feeling of the hot liquid on my torso was enough to send me over the edge, as well. We both collapsed, completely spent, in each others arms.

_And now my love_

_I'm getting what I've always been dreaming of_

_So are you_

_Fantasies come true_

xXx

Ahem… Yeah…


	10. O is for Over as in the story

xXx Land & Sky xXx

xXx Mizuki xXx

La-la-la-la Last Chapter! Hope you've enjoyed my story! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Previously: We both collapsed, completely spent, in each others arms.

xXxXxXx

N is for Never leave me

I awoke to the beautiful sound of Sora's calm breaths filling the air. He looked so peaceful… So serene… I stroked his cheek and kissed his forehead.

"Huh?"  
"Oh sorry Sora. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Oh that's okay Riku... I love waking up with you! But I might go back to sleep again... My ass hurts like hell..."

"Yeah - Sorry about that..."

"It's okay," Sora yawned, before promptly falling back to sleep. I carefully untangled our bodies and headed towards the kitchen, thinking of making us some breakfast. Looking out of the window however; another darker thought crossed my mind...

_"I don't deserve him..." _I sighed and let my head fall. I had taken advantage of him in a moment of weakness, and stolen his innocence with it. I knew then what I had to do. What I had to do to save Sora's life from going down the wrong path. I was the wrong path. So I had to leave. I tiptoed through the main room and grabbed my bag, putting various items of clothing on as I went. I took one final look at my friend-turned-lover before creeping out of the door.

xXx

x Sora's Point of view x

I felt a cold breeze drift over me, and reached out for Riku. But he wasn't there. I looked around. Where had he gone? I tried to get up without putting any pressure on my sensitive spot... Shit that hurt a lot more than I thought it would! But at the same time... It was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. I shuddered as I remembered the blissful feeling of Riku's hot, hardened member inside of me; gliding in and out as my hips rose to meet his thrusts. My daydream ended when I saw that Riku's bag had gone. Either Riku had deliberately left without saying goodbye - which would make him the biggest dick on the planet... Or he had been upset by something. And that could spell disaster.

xXx

"Hi Sora! Ready for another day of painting the OH MY GOD!!!" Selphie ran back out the door when she realised that I wasn't wearing anything. I quickly dressed before going outside to see if Selphie was okay. I found her leaning against the wall, looking ever so slightly flustered.

"Sorry about that Selphie…"

"Ah it's okay… Why were you naked? Did ya get lucky last night?"

"Well... Actually..."

"YOU DID? Oh my God! With who?"

"Well... You're not gonna believe this but-"

"Riku right?"

"What? How the fuck did you know?"

"He's been mad about you since I can remember." She gave me a friendly smile.

"So where is your lover-boy anyway? And surely you should be still in bed with him - especially in your condition..."

"My condition?"

"You were on the bottom right? You're ass must hurt like hell!"

"W-w-what? How do you know all of this?"

"Sora honey," She smiled again. "You were _born _uke." I sighed. She did have a point after all.

"Riku's gone," I admitted.

"What? Why?"

"I dunno... Something must have upset him... Maybe I was really bad..."

"No of course you weren't..."

"If you say so. We've gotta go find him though! Before he does anything stupid…"

"Okay. I'll go check his apartment and you..."

"I'll go anywhere... And everywhere... Until I find him."

xXx

O is for Over

x Riku's Pov x

Staring out at the ocean, I remembered what it felt like to be truly alone. And then I remembered what it felt like to be truly together - to be completely connected to another person. To move within them. When I'd made love to Sora, I'd forgotten what it had felt like to be alone. The day I met Sora, was the day my life changed forever. He was the first person I ever truly trusted. I'd never trusted anyone else. Ever. And I'd never loved anyone else. Ever.

"Sora..." I whispered to the sky.

"I'm sorry I left you... But it's because you're better off without me..."

"Liar." I turned around. Sora was standing behind me; looking for the entire world as if he'd just been dragged through Deep Jungle by a pack of wild gorillas.

"Sora... How did you find me?"

"By exhausting every other possible option." He walked up to me and placed his hand on my cheek. Before slapping me clean across the face. Hard.

"Fuck Sora! What the hell was that for?"

"_What the hell was that for?_ Do you _seriously _have to ask Riku? We have the most _amazing _sex - and then you just bugger off leaving me alone in the middle of the fucking restaurant!"

"I... Um... Well..."

"And now you stand here expecting me to forgive you. Well I've got news for you emo boy! You're not going to give me some pathetic trash about you not being good enough for me are you?"

"Well actually..."

"You see!!! You always put yourself down! Even when you finally have what you've always wanted! You... You run away from it because you're scared of losing it."

"Sora..."

"Riku. I fucking love you. But if you ever run off like that again, forcing me to think that once again you have tried to take your own life... I will _never _speak to you again."

"Sora... I'm sorry."

"I forgive you. Please... Hold me..."

"I fucking love you too Sora." And I embraced him for what seemed like an eternity; soaking up the wonderful feeling of his body against mine. Our souls intertwined. Our love never-ending. Bliss.

xXx

When we arrived back at the restaurant; our fingers intertwined, we were met with smiles and cheers from Tidus and Selphie. As well as the news of Kairi's relocation to a mental home after holding a gun to a stranger's head when she found out that Sora and I had slept together.

"So tomorrow's the opening day for your restaurant right Sora? Do you have a name yet? Maybe something like 'Paopu Cathedral' - Like Paopu Palace but better!" Selphie smiled as she sat on Tidus' lap.

"Maybe you should call it 'The Riku & Sora Restaurant?'" Tidus suggested.

"Nah... I've got a better idea," Sora smirked. "Land & Sky."

"I like it," I decided.

"Yeah... So do I," agreed Sora, and he took my hand in his.

"Hey Riku, I've got something for you." Sora held out his other hand, containing half a paopu fruit.

"I've already had my half," He added. I took the fruit from his hand and bit it.

"What does it taste like Riku?"

"Your quiche."

"That's because the paopu fruit was my secret ingredient!"

"Ah so you were planning this all along…"

"Of course. And do you know why?" He questioned nonchalantly.

"Why?" I asked, fully knowing the answer.

"Because… I love you Riku."

"Yeah... I know. And I love you too."

"Together forever?" Sora offered.

"Forever." I agreed.

xXx The End xXx


End file.
